You won’t eat that type of food. You won’t be able to cope with a normal weight. You will loose weight when you get out of hospital. You will always be underweight. You won’t want to come out for a meal. You don’t enjoy eating.
The list is endless.
The people around you are trying to be understanding but they are understanding your Eating Disorder and not you.
The answer? You need to tell them again and again and again that you are doing things differently now. The problem? Recovery is exhausting and telling people again and again and again is just too much sometimes, especially when your illness is going to try and make you feel ashamed of just living normal life.
So what do you do? You hold onto the fact that your recovery is yours.
You don’t need to justify the decisions that you are making. It doesn’t matter how other people think you should act in recovery, it doesn’t matter how other people do recovery and it definitely doesn’t matter what your Eating Disorder thinks you should or shouldn’t do.
I like chocolate brownies A LOT. I’m going to continue to gain weight although I’ve reached a place that is safe- because that is normal for MY BODY and that is what is right FOR ME. I get excited about going out to eat and trying new foods. The illness is what makes me feel guilty and ashamed of these things but these things are awesome and these things are ME and MY DECISIONS.
It takes an incredible amount of strength to defy your Eating Disorder and it’s even harder when sometimes it seems even the professionals are expecting a ‘half recovered’ life for you.
Go for your version of recovery whatever that means for you and however much you have to defy expectations. The Eating Disorder and it’s frankly CR*P expectations for you, can go do one! Nobody wants you to be ill and more importantly YOU are allowed to not want you to be ill.
Give yourself the permission to live the life you deserve,
It’s about time don’t you think?
Madasanegg
thinkinginspirals 